This was my attempt at being philosophical at work. It came about watching him getting into an argument with the customer. He is a young team leader and with still lots to learn.

TL: Wtf is he stupid?
Me: Well..
TL: ::starts to type out email::
Me: Right whenever you are talking to anyone over the email no matter who they are, always start politely. Put in a hello or hi or something you normally would do.
TL: ::looks at me like he knows better::
Me: Trust me.
TL: ::Follows my direction and enters in some niceties including regards at the end of the mail::
Me: The thing to remember is if something ever goes wrong and all these emails are made public you need to appear clean. He will end up looking stupid, but don’t stoop to his level. He will trip himself up in the end.
TL: Really?
Me: If you answer the emails the way he does then you are no better than him. You need to be like oil my friend.
Him: Like oil?
Me: Yeah oil floats on water everything else just mixes into the water and makes it look muddy.
Him: …

Just then our boss had caught onto what was happening and had read the silly reply back from the person he had been writing to and was quick to put them in their place. He felt a bit relieved after this point.

So remember to be like oil if you ever get into any arguments over emails!