And the tune went…

tired cute girl

Tricky – Pumpkin

Pumpkin
you’re hollow within
More how I’m to slowly
let their harm
Give us some
It’s sad until
Like flowers untamed
Shine out ends
I find what will make him
Love me
Life is our find
Hollow is he

I can’t breathe and I can’t see
MTV moves too fast, I refuse to understand
You go your way and I’ll see mine
Feels like wasted time
And it feels like I must be blind
How’d you like yourself?
You don’t know yourself

To a hollow kind, don’t mind
Love is some of you
Don’t dabble in fall of failure
How bad,ooh,ooh

Tricky and Alison Goldfrapp:
I smell of she and I fail to be
Well anyway,well anyway,well anyway

See how high
Go on

I can’t see and I can’t breathe
I can’t see and I can’t breathe
I can’t see and I can’t breathe
I can’t see and I can’t breathe
Well anyway, well anyway

Fall is in the air

fall is in the air

I was going to work this morning and like every other Friday there tends to be less traffic so I set off a little later than normal. As I know I can get there on time. On my way I pass a stretch of country side and since this area ia pretty high up you get to see a lovely panoramic of all the hills around and the small little building dotted around.

In the mornings specially when the weather is a little foggy a mist covers part of the landscape. It really is quite a beautiful site in the mornings. I can imagine its probably under appreciated as everyone else like myself is only there as they are driving to a destination and at that time in the morning likely to be work.

I’ve noticed the weather can create some wonderful scenery and completely change the surroundings or at least let you see it in a different light. This morning was rather special.

The night before had been very cold and in the morning as its becoming light I was driving along and when I came to the main road I noticed an amazing skyline which I must admit I have never witnessed before. The sun appeared to be rising but it was not visible. The sky was full of lots of small little ripple like clouds that were giving the sky a textured look not much unlike the earth surface if we were to look down on it. What was truly amazing was the colour of the sky. It was an immense golden orange colour which was filling the whole sky with its hue.

I have seen some truly post card style scenery along this route but today the golden orange sky added colour even to the clouds and I was in awe by how impressive the sky looked. So much in fact I felt like parking up on the side of the road to take a picture.

I couldn’t stop and take a picture as I had set off late, also I knew that the sky would only stay like this for some minutes only. So I include a picture at the top which is also quite impressive. Its been awhile since the weather has made me feel like ‘wow how amazing’.

Wish I had a speech like this at Uni

An inspirational speech given by Steve Jobs at a Uni in June, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1R-jKKp3NA

A quoi bon dire

A female hand joins with male hand to form a heart.

Seventeen years ago you said
Something that sounded like Good-bye;
And everybody thinks that you are dead,
But I.

So I, as I grow stiff and cold
To this and that say Good-bye too;
And everybody sees that I am old
But you.

And one fine morning in a sunny lane
Some boy and girl will meet and kiss and swear
That nobody can love their way again
While over there
You will have smiled, I shall have tossed your hair.

Charlotte Mew (1869 – 1928).

Can diagrams explain the meaning of life ?

People keep asking me questions about life.

Summarized the questions are why, how and what?

And I always tell them. These are the top words in teenage poetry albums. But you have to face that teenagers like coffee and lets say the stock market are things which won’t stay hot forever. But speaking of forever, its obvious this takes some time. If you have time on one axis and the adventures you have taken on the other. With a mediocre amount of adventures, you will get a album full of pictures.

While a lesser amount only gives you a heart full of regret. A heart full of regret on the other hand may cause a serious quantity of pain, while leaving only little visible mark. Just compare it with a hickie, a gunshot or rejection.

Well you surely remember this rejection. The school party, where Mary was looking that pretty and that oversize suit from your brother that was when you thought thank you mom.

Mom also reminds me that hobbits, wizards and elves condemn you to not cross the borders of moms basement.

So you’re sitting at home, eating ice cream and you feel gross and you’re sitting at home but hey you can also drink beer gain some confidence, step into a socially awkward moment and feeling. I mean feelings mistakes and buts, these are things we dare to not bare in public. Thats life.

Life, Liberty, pursuit of happiness for this we have our 471 cable TV channels. These and Saccharine and pop ballads provide us with an unlimited source of artificial sweetness.

Dividing sweeteners into calories and tastiness would have chocolate here, a raw potato there, this is water and this would be her neck. But speaking of love which always needs maintenance. This would be Mary and this would be a puppy.

Interestingly puppy’s, goldfish and hamsters are a reliable source for where children actually learn the meaning of death. And you know death, taxes and Spam there’s just no way around it.

This is an obvious fact like the easter bunny’s, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy are the first sources of religious doubt. Ah yes the Pope and also art and DVDs. Which have in common that reproduction is prohibited, but not impossible.

Reproduction is definitely impossible for all virgins. There are three types of virgins, A. Virgins by choice, B. Virgins by poor social skills and C. people who should be in group B, but claim otherwise for reasons of prestige.

Correlating prestige to time will give you a desired path and this is your actual career path. The difference is why you drink. But don’t worry there are two options regarding your relation between the actual content of the glass and the perceived content.

An interesting video by http://www.clemenskogler.net/

Colour me beautiful

The results are as follows, the standard original picture below left and the model after the digital makeover on the right.
Model before digital makeover Model after digital makeover

A while ago I followed a Photoshop tutorial to smooth out skin on a photo image, you can check out the previous post photo-retouching-skin. My last attempt was pretty awful, poor girl looks like she has sunburn. So I had to have another try. Basically its a process which is not too dissimilar to the techniques used on photo’s for fashion ads and magazine layouts. Whereby certain parts of a photo are digitally modified or enhanced to make them appear more appealing to the target audience. Sometimes the modifications can be quite minor, they can also be pretty big with changes in shape to body parts, eyes, ears, nose basically once the image is digital there isn’t anything which cannot be modified and I’m fairly certain the average Joe isn’t quite aware of just how much every day images we see are modified in such a manner.

This time I followed this tutorial Mizuno’s Super Airbrush PP Tutorial which is a pretty darn kewl tut on airbrushing skin. I decided to use a different image for the tutorial and it is a stock image. Now I personally believe that both the woman in the tut and the image I have used did not need any PS help at all. Its just done for the sake of it and I’ll save my discussion on creating unrealistic beauty for a future post.

I did carry out a few extra processes on my version. One is the obvious St Tropez suntan (fake self tan lotion of course), the Dior eye liner and also the must have look for this fashion season, the hot rouge lipstick. For me its not a super polished end result maybe I’ll try a few others. Do remember regardless of whether beauty is on the inside or outside, beauty within fashion images is most definitely fake.

Ode to the nice guy/gal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don’t give it up on the first date, who don’t want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they’ve heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren’t perfect and that the guys they’re interested in aren’t either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe… maybe this time he’ll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don’t deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from “there are plenty of fish in the sea,” to “time heals all wounds.” This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/114087824.html

Photo Retouching Skin

I saw this tut

This will be our first tutorial on the subject of re-touching a photograph in photoshop. We will be working on a photo of a model and using a few techniques to smooth and even out the skin.

http://tutorialblog.org/photo-retouching-skin/

I thought oh kewl, as its a subject I’m quite fond of. I had a look at the methods in the tutorial and it felt a little odd as I’ve been taught a different way. So I decided to have a very quick go with the source image and compare my final result with the one done by the author.

Original image
Image before any process work

Image after carrying out the tutorial by the tut author
Image after carrying out the tutorial by the tut author

Heres my quick attempt
My attempt skin retouch

The speed I carried out in, I probably haven’t got the color correct. I think she looks more like a cover model now though : )
I know the tut wasn’t for creating cover models.

A stranger in the mirror

I’ve been thinking to myself that I really must finish off reading all these books I have. Especially since, I’ve forced myself not to buy any more books. Until I’ve read the ones I have.

So the first up was a half finished book ‘A stranger in the mirror’ by Sidney Sheldon. How I got reading Sidney Sheldon books I’ll cover in a different post. Another book of his I’ve read is called ‘Bloodline’. Which was gripping and kept me reading all the way. Until the end when I felt disappointment in the way it finished. Which is probably why I only got half way through this book.

I guess you can read about what the book is about from the various on-line reviews. Briefly its about an aspiring actress who struggles with her career and also about a comedian who makes it to the top and can have anything he wants.

I won’t go too much into detail about the ending, but upon finishing the book I was a little disappointed and just put the book to the side.

The strangest thing happened to me the following morning around dinner time whilst I was thinking about the ending. A sense of despair overcame me. Which had to be the oddest feeling ever. Its not like me to be moved after so much time had passed. It was like a sadness at someones loss. Who had worked all their life to be or to get everything they wanted and then to loose it in a few moments.

I guess the ending was better than I had first thought, albeit very dark and sad.